A husband and wife were in their back yard, and he was noticing her expanding backside. He commented, "Boy, your ass is getting big...almost as big as the gas grill here." She angrily stomped across the yard, and he followed, saying, "Yep, that thing is huge."
At this the wife retreated to the far side of the yard. Soon, he approached with a tape measure, acquired the width and exclaimed, "It IS as big as the gas grill!"
Later that night when they were in bed, the husband started making moves on his wife. She just turned away. "C'mon honey", he said, "What's wrong?" Her cold reply was, "I'm not firing up the grill for ONE LITTLE WEINER!"