A host went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a
woman ever had. When the winner described her worst first date experience, there
was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize.
Marilyn said it was midwinter...snowing and quite cold. The guy had taken her
skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight). The outing was
fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize
that she should not have had that extra cup of coffee.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with out a rest room and in the
middle of nowhere. Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for
a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside
the road, or she would go on the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked down her pants
and started. Unfortunately, in the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so
she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion
stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real
gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief
she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent
to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued
against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately
came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was
quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor, she answered her date's concerns about "what was taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she was freezing her butt off and needed some assistance. He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She, too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.
Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a
real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks
from the grip of the icy metal. Thinking about what had gotten her into the
predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one
way to get
her free so, as she looked the other way, her first time date proceeded to unzip
his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
As for the Show...she took the prize hands down...or perhaps that should be
"pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing...
A whole new definition of being "pissed off."