To: All Employees
From: Management
Subject: Special High Intensity Training
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from
employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our
program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give
employees more S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing
that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee
Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.
seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). since
our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do SHIT
anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others. We
can add our name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).
Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply
for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).
If you have further question, please direct them to our Head of Training Special
High Intensity Training (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
Boss in General
Special High Intensity Training
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)