The Perfect Day

THE PERFECT DAY - HER

 8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses

9:00 5lbs lighter on the scale

9:30 Light Breakfast

11:00 Sunbathe

12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe

1:45 Shopping

2:30 Run into ex boyfriends/husbands - notice he's gained 30 lbs

3:00 Facial, massage, nap

7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing

10:00 Make love

11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

THE PERFECT DAY - HIM

6:45 Alarm.

7:00-7:30 Shower and massage.

7:30-7:45 Blowjob.

7:45-8:15 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.

8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.

8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.

9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.

11:30-12:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.

12:30-12:45 Blowjob.

12:45-2:30 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.

2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.

3:30-6:15 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.

6:15-6:30 Blowjob.

6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.

 7:30 Shit, shower, shave.

8:00-9:00 Watch CNN Live coverage of Bill Clinton's resignation. Hillary and Al Gore are indicted in the same scandal which involves graphic pictures and large farmyard animals.

9:00-10:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettuchini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum), crème brulet, Louis XIV Cognac, Cohiba Lancero.

 10:30-11:30 Sex with 3 women.

 11:30-12:00 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave.  Midnight Sleep

 Send  Jokes

Back to Jokes Page