Alabama: "At Least We're Not Mississippi!"

Alaska: "11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong"

Arizona: "But It's a Dry Heat"

Arkansas: "Littersy Ain't Everthang"

California: "As Seen on TV"

Colorado: "If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother"

Connecticut: "Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character"

Delaware: "We Really Do Like the Chemicals in Our Water"

Florida: "Ask Us About Our Grandkids"

Georgia: "We Put the 'Fun' in Fundamentalist Extremism"

Hawaii: "Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru" ("Death to mainland scum, but leave your money")

Idaho: "More Than Just Potatoes . . . Well OK, We're Not, but the Potatoes Sure are Real Good"

Illinois: "Please Don't Pronounce the Ess"

Indiana: "Two Billion Years Tidal-Wave-Free"

Iowa: "We Do Amazing Things With Corn"

Kansas: "First of the Rectangle States"

Kentucky: "Five Million People -- Fifteen Last Names"

Louisiana: "We're Not All Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign"

Maine: "We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster"

Maryland: "A Thinking Man's Delaware"

Massachusetts: "Our Taxes are Lower Than Sweden's" (for most tax brackets)

Michigan: "First Line of Defense From the Canadians"

Minnesota: "10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000 Mosquitoes"

Mississippi: "Come Feel Better About Your Own State"

Missouri: "Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work"

Montana: "Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little Else"

Nebraska: "Ask About Our State Motto Contest"

Nevada: "Hookers and Poker!"

New Hampshire: "Go Away and Leave Us Alone"

New Jersey: "Ya Wanna ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!"

New Mexico: "Lizards Make Excellent Pets"

New York: "You Have the Right to Remain Silent; You Have the Right to an Attorney . . ."

North Carolina: "Tobacco Is a Vegetable"

North Dakota: "We Really Are One of the 50 States"

Ohio: "We Wish We Were in Michigan"

Oklahoma: "Like the Play Only No Singing"

Oregon: "Spotted Owl . . . It's What's for Dinner"

Pennsylvania: "Cook With Coal"

Rhode Island: "We're Not REALLY an Island"

South Carolina: "Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender"

South Dakota: "Closer Than North Dakota"

Tennessee: "The Educashun State"

Texas: "Si, Hablo Ingles" ("Yes, I speak English")

Utah: "Our Jesus in Better Than Your Jesus"

Vermont: "Yep"

Virginia: "Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?"

Washington: "Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!"

Washington, DC: "Wanna Be Mayor?"

West Virginia: "One Big Happy Family -- Really!"

Wisconsin: "Eat Cheese or Die"

Wyoming: "Wynot?"

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