JokesBefore - You take my breath away.
After - I feel like I'm suffocating.
Before - Twice a night
After - Twice a month
Before - She loves the way I take control of a situation.
After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.
Before - Ricky and Lucy
After - Fred and Ethel
Before - Saturday Night Live
After - Monday Night Football
Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars.
After - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done.
Before - Don't Stop.
After - Don't Start.
Before - The Sound of Music
After - The Sound of Silence
Before - Is that all you are eating?
After - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.
Before - Wheel of Fortune
After - Jeopardy
Before - It's like living a dream.
After - It's a nightmare.
Before - $60/dozen
After - $1.50/stem
Before - Turbo-charged
After - Needs a jump-start
Before - We agree on everything!
After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?
Before - Victoria's Secret
After - Fruit of the Loom
Before - Feathers and handcuffs
After - Ball and chain
Before - Idol
After - Idle
Before - He's lost without me.
After - Why can't he ask for directions?
Before - When together, time stands still.
After - This relationship is going nowhere.
Before - Croissant and cappuccino
After - Bagels and instant coffee
Before - I can hardly believe we found each other.
After - How the hell did I end up with someone like you?
Before - Romeo and Juliet
After - Bill and Hillary
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