In the wake of the Exxon/Mobil deal and the AOL/Netscape deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R.Grace Company merge to become Hale Mary Fuller Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Brothers, and Keebler Crackers merge to become Polly-Warner-Cracker.

3. 3M and Goodyear merge to become MMM Good.

4. John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become Deere Abi.

5. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become Zip Audi Do Da.

6. Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become Honey I’m Home.

7. Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become Mine All Mine.

8. Federal Express and UPS merge to become FED UP.

9. Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.

10. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become Fairwell Honeychild.

11. 3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become 3 Penney Opera.

12. Grey Poupon & Dockers Pants will merge and become Poupon Pants.

13. Knott’s Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become Knott NOW.

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