JokesJeffrey Dahmer Jokes
The man who killed Dahmer in prison is claiming self defense...
He heard Jeffrey's stomach growl.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his butt.
What was Jeffrey Dahmer's worst nightmare?
A running nose!
Why did Jeffrey keep the heads in the fridge?
To see if the light really goes off, and So he could keep an eye on the beer.
What did Jeffery Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?
You gonna eat that?
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Pee Wee Herman?
"Stop playing with your food!"
When Jeff had his parents over for dinner, his mom kept bitching at him, saying, "I hate all your friends"...
So he told her to try some of the salad...
Know why they found a dish of noses in Jeffrey Dahmers fridge?
He was going to make Dahmer-Nose pizza.
How did Jeffery Dahmer like to spend his spare time.
He had friends over for lunch.
What were Dahmer's last words to the guy that killed him in the fight?
"Hey buddy, I used to eat guys like you for breakfast!"
Why was Dahmer about to move?
He was running out of elbow room.
How did Jeffrey greet his friends?
With a warm handshake.
What did the chief investigator tell the crew moving the Freezer?
Careful, if you drop that heads will roll! .
Jeffery Dahmer wrote a cookbook on Oriental cuisine...
It's called --- 101 Ways to Wok Your Dog!
What kind of soap did Jeffrey Dahmer use?
Lever 2000 - For all your 2000 body parts!
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was an avid golfer.
Yep, they found a bucket of balls in the closet
Did you hear that he came out with a cook book just before he died?
How to serve your friends at a cocktail party!
What was Jeff's favorite Twighlight Zone episode?
To Serve Mankind. its a cook book...! its a cook book...!
Why didn't Dahmer have better lawyers?
It would have cost an arm and a leg.
How was Dahmer described in school?
Class cut-up. Most likely to get ahead.
Did you hear about the new Jeffrey Dahmer fridge?
Seats six and more head room.
What were his victims last words?
"Hey, eat me, buddy!"
Have you heard of the Jeffrey Dahmer drink?
An Old Milwaukee with no head.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer do when his mother showed up late for supper?
Gave her the cold shoulder.
Why wouldn't Jeffery Dalmer ever give you a straight answer?
He'd always say "let me chew on it a while".
Why did Jeffery Dahmer break out of prison?
He heard about the big BBQ in WACO
What was Jeffery Dahmers last meal?
A large pizza with everybody on it.
What did they find when they did Dahmer's autopsy?
Jimmy Hoffa
What kind of Shampoo did Jeffery Dahmer use?
Head and Shoulders
What was Jeffery Dahmers favorite food?
Finger food.
Why did they find testicles in Jeffrey Dahmer's freezer?
Cause sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't!
What did Dahmer have to do with Iran/Contra?
He came up with the Idea of "Arms for Hostages."
What was Jeffrey's favorite bird?
A cock or two.
Jeffrey Dahmer's apartment is for rent. It's advertised as:
Three bedroom, partially furnished, roommates included, some assembly required.
Did you hear what Jeffrey Dahmer did to the last guy that made him angry?
He chewed his ass out.
Did you hear that Garth Brooks did a Dahmer Tribute Tune?
"I've Friends in crawl spaces, mason jars, and glass vases."
I heard that he occasionally passed his friends in the street.
What did Dahmer do if he didn't like his neighbors?
He scraped them off his plate.
Why didn't Jeffrey Dahmer like eating vegetables?
There wasn't room for the wheelchairs in his closet.
What did Jeffrey Dahlmer have in his refrigerator?
About 10 lbs of ground Chuck.
What did Jeff say to O.J. in jail?
You show me yours, I'll show you theirs.
What do Jeffery Dahmer and Eleanor Rigby both have in common?
They both go to sleep every night with a "face in a jar by the door"!
Why won't the guys in prision play cards with Jeff?
He always comes up with an extra hand.
What's the difference between Jeff and Playboy magazine?
Playboy magazine can take a good beating in the bathroom.
What's the difference Between Jeff and O.J. Simpson?
Jeff had proper etiquitte... he used a FORK and a knife.
They just released a new film about and idiot and a cannibal.
It's called "Dumb and Dahmer"!
Jefferey Dahmer blamed his landlord...
Said he had been charging him an arm and a leg for rent.
Did you hear that Jeffrey Dahmer had written a cookbook?
Its called, "How to serve your friends at a cocktail party"
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite food?
Beans and Frank.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer prefer eating his victims?
Because a sandwich is a sandwich, but a man-wich is a meal.
Why was Jeffery Dahmer killed in prison?
He disagreed with one of his meals.
What did Dahmer say when the cops came to arrest him?
"Come on guys, have a heart!"
Why did Jeffery Dahmer keep a blender on his porch?
He liked to greet his guests with a warm handshake.
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