WHY SANTA CLAUS HAS TO BE A MAN (IRREFUTABLE TRUTH)

SANTA CLAUS HAS TO BE A MAN FOR THE FOLLOWING REASONS:

1. HE'S DRIVEN THAT SLEIGH FOR YEARS AND HAS YET TO BACK OVER A SHOPPING CART IN A PARKING LOT.

2. HE EATS ALL THE PLATES OF COOKIES AND GLASSES OF WHOLE MILK THAT ARE LAID OUT FOR HIM WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT WHETHER IT WILL MAKE HIS BUTT LOOK BIG.

3. HE'S ALWAYS READY TO GO ON TIME.

4. HE IS PERFECTLY HAPPY WITH ONLY OWNING ONE OUTFIT.

5. HIS REINDEER AREN'T NAMED AMBER, MISSY, FIFI, SNOOKUMS, GIDGET, LACE, POOKIE, AND CINNAMON.

6. HE CAN STAY OUTDOORS IN WINTER FOR MORE THAN 30 MINUTES WITHOUT GRIPING ABOUT HOW COLD HE IS.

7. HE DOESN'T FLINCH FROM GOING UP AND DOWN THOSE ICKY, FILTHY CHIMNEYS.

AND FINALLY.......

8. HE'S ALWAYS JOLLY, REGARDLESS OF THE TIME OF MONTH