JokesThere was this guy sitting on a park bench muttering to himself and spitting. He would mutter, then spit, mutter, then spit, he would say, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive", then spit, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive", then spit, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive", then spit. A man sits down next to him and asks him, "What's going on here? You keep saying, "Damn that sonofabitch can drive, then you spit".
"Well", says the guy, "my friend just got a brand-new sports car, so he called me and asked me if I wanted to go for a ride. So I said sure, why not?" He picked me up and we drove up to the mountains. After we had lunch, we started back down the mountain and his brakes went out!! He's pumping the pedal, and nothing!! So there we were picking up speed and the road is all twisty and curvey.
We're going faster and faster and it's hard to stay on the road. I've got my fingers embedded in the dashboard, and I'm pleading with him to do something!! We're going about 90 mph now, with a sheer cliff on our right, a 500 foot drop on the other side, an 18 wheeler right on our ass, and an overturned motor home right in front of us. Well, I figured this is it!! I just know we're gonna die!! So I turned to him and said... "Buddy, if you can get us outta this, I'll give you the best damn blow job you've ever had!!"
"DAMN, THAT SONOFABITCH CAN DRIVE!!"... (SPIT)
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