These two guys are drinking really late one night in a bar when one of them looks at the other and says, "I have to get home, my wife is going to kill me." The other guy says, "What, are you kidding me, my wife lets me do whatever I want." The first guy says, "I know, I know", all embarrassed that his wife controls him. He continues," I try to sneak past her every time to. I drive really slow down my street and turn the headlights off 100 yards short of my driveway, 50 feet short I turn off the key so that I can coast in, I shut the car door easily, open the front door to the house quietly, take off my boots so I can go up the stairs in my socks, sneak through the bedroom door, and as soon as I hit the bed she is up screaming at me."

The second guy laughs and replies, There is your problem, let me tell you what I do. I drive 90 MPH down my street and lock it up sideways into my driveway, bump into the garage door, slam the car door shut, slam the front door, stomp up the stairs, swing the bedroom door open, jump up on the bed, slap my wife on the ass and say hey sweetie, how about a blowjob? The second guy pauses for a second and replies," She's sleeping every time."

 Send  Jokes

Back to Jokes Page