Famous Last Words

I'll get a world record for this

It's fireproof

That bear is probably just hibernating

What does this button do?

It's probably just a rash

Are you sure the power is off?

The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!

Pull the pin and count to what?

Which wire was I supposed to cut?

These are the good kind of mushrooms

This fork will get the toast out

This doesn't taste right

 I can make this light before it changes

I can do that with my eyes closed

That's odd

Watch this!

I've seen this done on TV

OK, but this is the last time

No, that's not a plane, finish your soup

How come I'm holding five aces? I'm glad you asked me that

It's not my heart, it's indigestion

Promise not to get mad?

I can finish my quart of whisky before you finish  yours

Of course I can drive a motorcycle

I'm going to change my will and leave my fortune to charity

If I'm lying, may lightning strike me dead

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