Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = pregnancy

 

Dumb man + smart woman = affair

Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage

 

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

 

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

 

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. 

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

 

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

 

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. 

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

 

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

 

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

Any married man should forget his mistakes; there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

 

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

 

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

 

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman: before marriage, and after marriage.

 

 

 

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