JokesWith just a little tact and eloquence, I think we CAN all get along. Let's try communicating responsibly with one another using these tried and true phrases:
1) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
4) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
5) Ahhh,I see the f@#*-up fairy has visited us again.
6) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
7) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
8) How about never? Is never good for you?
9) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
10) You sound reasonable: Time to up my medication.
11) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
12) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
13) I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
14) Who me? I just wander from room to room.
15) It might look like I'm doing nothing, But at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
16) At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
17) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
18) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
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