It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying
the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived
at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who
congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at
the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a
revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the
door, which she closed behind him, and took him up the stairs to the bedroom
where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a giant breakfast:
eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange
juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As
she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's
bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "But what's
the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last
day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give
you. He said, 'Fuck him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."