It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until
recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of
different sexual activities. Now after original and proprietary research they
are proud to present the results.
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent....................... 12 Calories
Without her consent.................. 187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
With your teeth......................... 85 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection........................ 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris.............. 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary.............................. 12 Calories
69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories
69 standing up........................ 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow........................... 216 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
Italian chandelier..................... 912 Calories
ORGASMIC:
Real.................................... 112 Calories
False................................... 315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately..........816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
30-39 years............................. 80 Calories
40-49 years............................. 124 Calories
50-59 years............................. 972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over............................ Results are still pending
DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry.............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories