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A quick guide or glossary Female keywords, and their meanings
1. "Fine" This is the word women use at the end of any argument when they feel
they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any longer. It means that you
should shut up. (NEVER use "fine" to describe how she looks. This will cause you
to have one of those arguments.)
2. "Five minutes" This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes
that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so women
feel that it's an even trade.
3. "Nothing" "Nothing" means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing"
is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you
inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument
that will last
"Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".
4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows) This is NOT permission; it's a dare! If you
mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman will get upset over
"Nothing" and you'll have a "Five-minute" discussion that will end with the word
"Fine".
5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows) This is NOT permission, either. It means "I give
up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow
"Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will
talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
6. "Loud Sigh" This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks
you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here
and arguing with you over
"Nothing"!
7. "Soft Sigh" Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one
of the few things that some men actually understand. It means she is momentarily
content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe in the hope that the moment
will last a bit longer.
8. "Oh" This word -- followed by any statement -- is trouble. Example: "Oh, let
me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If
she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She
will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the
window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least two days ("Oh" as the
lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to
lie more to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrows "Go ahead",
sometimes followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write
about them.
9. "That's Okay" This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can
say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
deciding what the penalty will be for whatever you have done. "That's Okay" is
often used with
the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead".
Once she has had time to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.
10. "Please Do" This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman is giving you
the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have done. In other words, a
chance to get yourself into even more trouble. If you handle this correctly,
you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".
11. "Thanks" The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look for hidden
meaning. Just say "you're welcome."
12. "Thanks A Lot" "Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from "Thanks". A
woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It is
usually followed by the "Loud Sigh". This signifies that you have hurt her in
some callous way. Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as
she will only tell you "Nothing".
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