Maria just got married and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin
and very inexperienced around men. So, on her wedding night, while staying at
her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. 'Don't
worry Maria,' says the mother. 'Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take
care of you.' So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his
shirt and exposed his hairy chest.
Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big
hairy chest.' 'Don't worry, Maria,' says his mother. 'All good men have hairy
chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.' So up she went again. When
she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs.
Again Maria ran downstairs to her mother. 'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his
pants and he's got hairy legs.'
'Don't worry Maria. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs
and he'll take good care of you.' So, up she went again. When she got up
there, Tony took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing the better
part of three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs.
'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot-and-a-half.'
'Stay here and stir the pasta,' says the mother. 'This is a job for Mama!'