You know that you've joined a redneck HMO if:

* The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's
* Directions to the Dr's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park"
* The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles
* The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter
* The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy
* Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month
* Preventive Care Coverage includes "an apple a day"
* Your Prozac comes in colors and has little "m"s on each pill
* The only 100% covered expense is embalming
*Your Viagra prescription includes a popsicle stick and some duct tape
 

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